Hair Clinic - The Mobile App Turkeys of 2009

Why is it a turkey?
The Sy Sperling of iPhone applications, developer Sociag Project's patent-pending Hair Clinic promises to "protect your hair for your confident life." Blaming problems like alopecia and hair loss on circulation disorders around the roots of the scalp, Hair Clinic generates inaudible sonic frequencies to promote blood flow under the skin--just massage the iPhone into your head (yes, you read that correctly) and "healthy and abundant hair" is yours. It's a miracle!

"YOUR CHOICE CHANGES YOUR LIFE!" proclaims Hair Clinic's App Store seller page. But all this for just $3.99? How is such a price possible, you might ask? "Because you have already paid for the hardware which is iPhone or iPod touch!" the app description continues. Well, duh.

But what about side effects, you say? "To close speaker to ear while the steps running can cause headaches," Hair Clinic warns. (Incomprehensible grammar can also cause headaches, warns FierceMobileContent.) But the App Store user reviews seal the deal: "I am going to hospital for hair loss so I asked my doctor whether or not this app is working scientifically. My doctor said ‘This app is scientifically working.'" Or how about "I worked in Hair Loss solution company before. I know how this works and this really works."

How can you argue with that?