The future of mobile and beyond
So what's next for the mobile industry? Not just in the weeks ahead, but in the years and even decades to come? After consulting world-renowned psychics, carnival fortune tellers and that crazy guy who lives in the Greyhound terminal men's room, I've assembled a series of predictions forecasting the next 50 years of industry evolution. Let's gaze into the crystal ball.
2009: A New Jersey resident will download a ringtone in 37 clicks, breaking the previous world record by three clicks.
2010: A new mobile TV channel launched by cable network TNT will air nothing but the Patrick Swayze feature Road House on an endless loop...and score the highest ratings in mobile broadcast history.
2011: In an effort to sex up its corporate image, Verizon Wireless will change the name of its "Any Apps, Any Device" open-access effort to "Verizon's Swingin', Anything Goes Wireless Freaknik."
2013: Engineers will develop a new, energy-efficient mobile handset powered solely by America's collective hatred for Michael Bolton.
2015: Mobile devices will become so thin that even Kate Moss expresses concern for their well-being.
2016: Following advances in automation, all facets of handset production will now be completed by robots. Unfortunately, the robots will be assembled by children in a New Delhi sweatshop.
2018: Mobile phone radiation will leave consumers so brain-addled that Kevin Federline wins a People's Choice Award.
2020: Congress will approve SMS voting in time for the upcoming elections. Months later, Kelly Clarkson becomes the 46th president of the United States in a landslide victory.
2025: Aging hip-hop mogul P. Diddy will finally admit he's not an MVNO after all.
2031: Smartphones will begin to simulate human behaviors and emotions. Unfortunately, the human they simulate is Jim Belushi.
2042: To be honest, nothing much happens in 2042.
2053: After smartphones achieve sentient intelligence, the latest incarnation of the RAZR will terminate Motorola's executive leadership and assume control of day-to-day corporate operations. Motorola stock surges for the first time in decades.
2058: A resident of America's first manned Martian colony will download a ringtone in 29 clicks, breaking the previous world record by eight clicks. - Jason
Comments (2) | Post a comment
Comments
Posted by Engineer | May 30, 2008 - 12:09pm
Man, Jason, this is soo wrong I don't even know where to start. let me just point out two things quickly: 1) David Coook will have much greater chance of winning the presidency as his cohorts are already all geared up and up to speed on SMS; 2) I am sure that the barrier of 25 clicks to download a ring tone will be broken, considering a need to speed up things when communicating to Mars (of course, I take it the ring tone will still be hosted somewhere in New Jersey).
Posted by JupDoug | June 2, 2008 - 12:58pm
Jason, I almost choked on a pretzel while reading your prediction for 2020. Outstanding!
